Mills and Boon.......the lie of the devil

Thursday Post day!!! Yay!!!

This title has been sitting in my draft for a few years now and I'd not known where to go with it. 

For those that don't know what Mills and Boon novels are,, Mills and Boon or M&B (bear in mind

Mills and Boon here is used as a generic term to cover Harlequin Romance, Silhouette Desire, Avon Romance etc, etc.  and much much more) are novels centred on romantic encounters. They usually look something like this: 

Like I said, this title has been sitting in my draft for a few years. I didn't know what to even say till a friend posted this to her twitter account:

Living

Apologies for my failure to post last week and failure to post on Thursday as per usual. I've recently taken on more responsibility at work and I'm trying (and failing most days!!!) to prepare for an examination. I really am trying not to fall off and keep my commitment to post once a week, the Lord being my helper.

Today's post is a bit of a sombre one.

It was Langston Hughes who said "Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid".

I woke up on Sunday to news that a friend of my sister's had passed after an illness. On Wednesday, one of my closest friends also lost her dad. In this same week, I celebrated both my brother and mother's birthdays. I had a moment of serious clarity; while I was celebrating, people were in mourning. That's just life but it helps you put things into perspective. This is however not the crux of this post.

My sister's friend's death hit me so much. I wasn't exactly friends with him. I can count the handful of times I saw him. But the thought that such a young, meaningful, innovative life had come to an end was too much for me to bear.  

Apart from being such an amazing friend to my sister, I admired his business savvy and go-getter attitude. He started a fantastic online business that my friends and I swear by. He told my sister that the business stemmed from his laziness. We laughed about that statement at the time. But here was this young man, who didn't like to do certain things, noting that no one else seemed to like to do these things and the market had not responded by providing an alternative to doing those things. There was a huge gap in the market and he stepped up, conceptualised a business, floated it  and it worked!. He was big on legacy. He started his business to leave something for his kids like his father did. He never got to have those kids but he left a brainchild behind that has the potential of growing exponentially. He had begun diversifying and conceptualising other projects before he passed. He made business development and execution look so effortless.  He worked hard and played hard too.I loved that so much about him.

The Story of the Belt - B.I.G. 20 years on

"It was all a dream. I used to read Word Up magazine. Salt n Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine. Hanging pictures on my wall. Every Saturday rap attack. Mr. Magic, Marley Marl..." Juicy 1994

I feel like I've been talking a lot about music and entertainment on this blog lately.

If you don't like music...or this type of music...I apologise. But it is what it is. This is the way the "creative juices" have been flowing lately.

Anyways, today, March 9, 2017, marks the 20th Anniversary of  the death of Christopher Wallace aka Notorious B.I.G.

Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace
May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1997

I am now a fan of the culture. I've always been a hiphop head but as I've grown, my love for the culture has evolved to where the music became more important than the musician. Does that make sense? Well, it wasn't always like that.

I was never really a fan of Biggie Smalls. In the feud between the East Coast and the West Coast, I sided with the West Coast, which meant I was a Tupac fan. But even as a young appreciator of music, I couldn't really ignore Biggie's music and style. He was more smooth and lyrical where Tupac was aggressive and punchy. Juicy was the first B.I.G. song I memorised line for line. It was just such a great rap that resonated with me.

I remember EXACTLY where I was when I heard that Biggie had been killed. I was knocked for six! I never thought that hip hop would take it that far. I wasn't a fan then but I thought his music was somewhat dope.

I absolutely cannot believe it's been 20 freaking years though. Wow. The industry lost an amazing talent. A lyricist par excellence. Word Smith extraordinaire. A poet. A legend.

I'm sure today, a lot has been said about BIG so I'm not going to wax poetic about him. I will however, be sharing one of the best stories I've heard told about BIG. This story was shared with the world courtesy Aliya S. King.

I will let her tell you the story in her own words.

Shether - Great for the culture

So I am a fan of "the culture".

I've been a hip-hop head for as long as I can remember. I am a fan of lyrics, double entendres, metaphors and word plays.

Rap used to be such an intelligent game. I've always thought that some of the most intelligent entertainers were rappers. Rap essentially was poetry set to music...till it all got ruined. Candy pop rap and mumble rappers came through and dominated the scene.

I've been over new school rap for some time. I stay in my lane, rocking my old school.

So imagine my delight when on Saturday, while I was working at an event, my friend read off her twitter feed that Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj had issues. The first thing out of my mouth was "Nicki Minaj DOES NOT want it with Remy Ma. Remy Ma is the very embodiment of what Nicki Minaj raps about". When I wrapped up at my event and went home, I looked up the issue and came across THE diss track to end all diss tracks!!!

I had to go back and look at the timeline of what led to this epic track.

Highlight and Lowlights: The 59th Grammy Awards

So...you know the drill by now.

Say it with me..."Thursday Post Day!!!!!"

Ok so, except you are unable to read a calendar, today is actually Friday. I couldn't complete the post yesterday because I had a boatload of things to do so I couldn't post as usual. I am sorry about that. But here's my offering; coming a day late.

So even though it is a bit lastma of me; seeing as the Grammy Awards held on the 12th of February, I only recently watched it and as such I am going to give you my highlights and low-lights on the Grammy's because it is when somebody wakes up that it is their morning. So...yeah.

I really enjoyed this year's Grammy awards. I usually can take or leave the Grammy's. It is not a big night for me. I don't throw Grammy award parties where I give out nonsense trophies to my "most congenial friend" or whatever..but if that is you...kudos. However, this year, I actually watched the Grammy's on a work night and watched it till the end.

So I'm going to share my highlights from this year's awards with you and some low-lights too.

Post Galentine&Valentine Update

*Wendy Voice* How you doing?

How's your week going my darlings?

How was the day of red froth on your end? Myself, I had an amazing day. I have the most amazing family and friends. 

But let me backtrack.

Galentine's day was an absolute success!

So what had happened was I decided to pack little gift baggies for my friends filled with silly stuff. 

Here, see what the baggies looked like:

Galentine's Day

What is up guys?

It's another Thursday and I am still here posting!!!! Somebody shout hallelujah!

It's a few days to valentine's day so I thought why not come on here and talk about...surprise...surprise...valentine's day...well, not exactly.

So, are you having a Val?

Muzzz be naizzzz

This year, I have decided to stop wanting a Valentine and instead BE  a valentine. Weird right? Well, it gets weirder.

I was a huge fan of the show Parks and Recreations starring Amy Poehler who plays the character Leslie Knope.

Leslie Knope pioneered a celebration called "Galentine's day". What is "Galentine's" day, you ask? 

Well, I'll let her tell you herself

Happy Things!

As you may know, I don't say Happy New Month (except I've royally messed up and I need an ice breaker). It doesn't mean I don't wish that you have a happy new month though, it just means when I said Happy New Year, it was intended that I meant for you to have happiness the entire year and it was also intended that I did not intend to wish you piece meal happiness twelve times in the year.

Phew! Mouthful!

Ok. So Thursday Post Day!!!! (Don't worry, I will soon get tired of saying this "Thursday Post Day" something. I'm even already getting tired sef! )

I loved how January went for me. I had that joy unspeakable full of glory from the 2nd of January right down to the 31st (it is assumed that everyone had joy on the 1st, what with seeing a new year and all). 

Considering the fact that I literally gave my joy away to the devil for almost all of last year, this was a big deal for me. I just loved God so much and He in turn lavished so much love on me and taught me so many things about myself, about life and living. I'm still learning and growing; messing up but not staying messed up and getting right back up, following and standing tall. That's been my year so far. I'm most grateful to see a new month with mines. I just can't deal with the insecurity, grim news and despair everywhere. I just keep praying for those that are lost and missing to be found. It is distressing. 

So today, because I am not ignorant of the depressing news everywhere, I want to share some things that have made me happy in the past month in the hopes that they brighten somebody's day. 

Please note: This is a looooong post. Sorry. But I promise you'll be entertained. If you are not, accost me. I won't even say anything back.

Words I Live By

What is good peoples????

You know what time it is.....

It is Thursday Post Day!!!!!

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy to be on some kind of roll. I pray I keep up the pace and not breakdown somewhere along the line during  the course of the year. Pray with me o.

So today, I want to share with you some of the words I live by. So let's get into it.

The Millennial Question.

*Kindly note that this is a long post...a mild rant, if you will.*

So it is Thursday Post day!!!!!! Yay!!!!

Hello guys and dolls. 

How has your week been going?

I'm seriously trying to keep to my weekly blogging schedule. This is post 3 in January, so I can say it's looking good.

So...I wanted to show you guys a video I happened upon. It's about 15 minutes long but it is worth the time just to listen to the stuff this guy called Simon Sinek has to say.

Have you checked out the video?

What do you think? Be sure to leave a comment below if you agree or disagree or agree in part or vice versa.

I'll share my thoughts (for what they're worth).

Really?????

Hello lovairs (if I still have any out there).

How has the first two weeks in January been? They've been pretty slow for me but January is looking great and promising which makes me extremely optimistic for the rest of the year.

I've been on a bit of a journey which has led to some soul searching and introspection. I was reading a book on hearing from God and in one of the chapters, the book talks about the gifts we have and how they tie in to what we really should be doing with our lives. The book suggested using one of the myriad of internet resources available which group our talents and attributes into one place and suggest a suitable career path.

I was curious so I did mine. I'll share it with you. I used a resource called goodnet.org
I was asked a few questions about what I liked to do and what my reactions were in certain situations. The result? See for yourself...

A Fresh Start

Happy new year my loves. 

May this year typify God's grace in our lives. 

As you all can see, I did not manage to finish my 30 days posting. I got tired after a while. I read somewhere that if you blog about yourself mainly, it's a sure fire way to burn out the blog quickly...unless you are an extremely interesting person. Unfortunately, I blog about myself and my personal experiences mainly AND I am in no way extremely interesting. 

What is one to do? 

Anyways, to avoid the burnout, I will return to the original template of this blog and post once a week unless it is a heck of a week and I have plenty gist. 

I feel very strongly about this year being a fresh start for me. It's not palpable but that phrase has just resonated with me. Last year was bleh...for lack of a better word. I literally coasted through in a haze of self pity, sadness and tears. I did not stop to smell the roses. I tried many times to snap out of it but, though I put on a brave face for all around me, it was tough. But in that year, God was faithful. He did amazing things for my family and I (even though my self pity made me completely ungrateful) He surrounded me with amazing people. I began my professional certification course. And I was in great health for most of the year. Only God can reward unfaithfulness with maximum faithfulness. 

"To have fun in [my] journey through life and
learn from [my] mistakes" 

So this year, I am excited to announce that I have a new lease on life.

Day 16: Adult Christmas Fun

I love Christmas!!!!!! Jesus's birthday, amean, what's not to love??? I love Jesus and I love birthdays...it's the perfect holiday for me.

Adulting is super hard and sometimes one needs to cut back and have a bit of fun. What better time to have fun than during Christmas, eh? The problem is that everybody seems to be falling over themselves to entertain kids. There's all sorts lined up for kids during Christmas like it isn't good enough for them to get almost a month off school *rme*. No one thinks of the grown ups who have been worked to the bone during the year. We also need to be entertained! 

This Christmas, I was planning not to go home to Lagos, I was going to spend Christmas with my friends and knock about the capital  city but I've been cajoled. I had thought of what I'd do or like to do during Christmas and I want to share some of my thoughts on fun adult activities to get into over Christmas. 

Leggo!

Day 15: Favorite Bible Verse

By a technicality (it is 11:19 p.m) it is still day 15. So here's my offering for today.

I have a post coming up on my struggles this year. I've really struggled this year and one of the things that has kept me going is the Bible and the promises it contains for me. Anytime I manage to break free of the haze of the struggle and get into God's Word, it always provides a comfort apropos to my challenge and resets me. 

I have many favorite verses in the Bible but the verses I will be sharing with you today are my all time favorite. For where my head is at these days, these particular set of verses brings it all together for me and makes me see purpose in the struggle.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NKJV): Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

The break down of these verses is basically as follows: 

1. There will be challenges.

2. God Himself is the one who will comfort us through those challenges.

3. The help and comfort we have received is not just for us. We are not comforted for just being comforted sake. God has set an example through the comfort we have received and it is our duty to now dispense what has been deposited in us. 

This hits home for me because though I'm struggling, it hasn't stopped my purpose. Life is not lived in isolation. There are people who God wants us to reach out to right in the middle of our mess when we don't even feel like getting out of bed let alone helping someone else deal with their own issues. 

I've wanted to be selfish a lot this year. I've wanted to turn people away when they approach me to talk things out because I have my own stuff going on. But what I found was that merely by offering a listening ear,  I myself, became blessed by the responses the Holy Spirit gave to the issues through me. I would say things that I KNEW I did not have the wisdom to come up with. So while the Holy Spirit was doing His work, I also was being offered comfort. I always felt so much better after having listened, talked and prayed with people and I think that typifies this verse for me. 

Day 14: I Want To Learn How To...

...Sew.

Because tailors are mad and I am over them.

That's all.

Happy public holiday tomorrow, all. Might I take this moment to appreciate my Muslim brethren for how they steady gift us with these holidays? God bless you.

Day 13: Favourite TV Cast

Holla amigos and amigrettes.

What's good?

This is pretty much a meh post but here's day  13 guys.

So I'm a series girl myself. I like nothing more than coming home from work and getting into a good one. I particularly love the big ensemble shows: Friends. How I met Your Mother. The Big Bang Theory. Will & Grace. etc.

Sometimes, the casts of these shows, in interviews, would claim how they're all best friends and get along so great and how that contributes to the success of their shows. One particular cast has embodied this both on and off their shows. The cast of That 70s Show has to be the best and most supportive cast on television in my opinion.

L-R: Kelso (Ashton Kutcher), Hyde (Danny Masterson), Eric (Topher Grace), Fez (Wilmer Valderrama), Donna (Laura Prepon)
Top: Jackie (Mila Kunis)

Did anyone get into That 70s Show? I thought it was great. Based in the 70s, it focuses on six friends and is set mainly in the basement of one of the friend's family home. We get a look at the dynamics of family, friendship and societal issues of the 70s. It was appropriately funny and though it wasn't the best show of its time, I think it spun some amazing friendships.

I love the way the cast are so supportive of themselves. With the exception of Topher Grace (whom I suspect might be an ass) these guys go to bat for each other so much. Their stint on That 70s Show spun off a couple of other shows like

i. Are You There Chelsea?

ii. Men At Work

iii. The Ranch  

Of course there were shows like Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher and Yo Mama hosted by Wilmer Valderrama. Punk'd featured the whole That 70s Show cast (excluding douchey (I'm guessing) Topher Grace) .

These guys met in 1998 and have supported each other since then. On every show they've created, they've all appeared on at least one episode to support the other's hustle. I think a true Hollywood friendship is hard to find but these guys have maintained theirs for 18 years. Kudos to them! 

Day 12: Manage Your Expectations Concerning My Outrage

I wrote this at the beginning of the month when this gist was quite fresh. I didn't finish it then. Just finished it and I ask you to try and vibe with me. Thank you. 

Hmmm...let me start by saying "'appi nu mont."

You can tell the extent of my need for mollification by my greeting. If you know me, and I'm sure a few of you do, I HATE that greeting. For avoidance of doubt, when I greet "happy new year", I INTENDED to include EVERY SINGLE MONTH OF THE YEAR!

Anywho, this is day whatever in actuality but Day 12 for the 30 days of posting. I intend to finish these thirty days even if it kills my enemies. Lol. I had been travelling and it's been crazy. Hopping on and off planes. Different time zones. My love for Netflix and sleep. The cards were stacked against me. Forgive me!!!! Please!!!!

Now that I'm sure all is forgiven, let's talk.

So there was this video that surfaced a couple of days ago ( I believe it was last week) of one "imbecide" slandering Nigerians. I will not post it on here cos...meh!

I don't know the broad. From what I hear, she's one of those jj-list celebs. What is a jj-list celeb? Well, in drafting documents and doing a list using the alphabets, when you exhaust alphabets a-z and you still need to continue your list, you go aa, bb, cc, and so on. So yeah...she's probably hi-five famous or something. I'm not interested in dragging her. She made an ignorant statement from an ignorant and possibly pained view point. So...moving on from her.

A few mornings ago, I was watching reactions to the video from a couple of Nigerian instagram comedians and curiously, though her rant seemed of general application, it was mainly the male comedians that took umbrage.I wasn't even interested in the outrage in general. I was interested in one particular outrage. One guy took to his instagram page to berate, surprise...surprise...Nigerian women.

But...!But...! What did we do nau?!

Yes o. Apparently it is OUR fault that the screp was dissing them. Not the possibility that one of their own may have crossed her path and 'demon-ded' her. But the fact that we've been calling them Yoruba demon etc on social media is the cause of the problem and now that it has happened, WE have to fix it. And apparently, if it is not fixed, the smear campaign is likely to move from them to us the women who were the initial "causers" of the whole thing in the first place. This is my paraphrase by the way.

Umu-womenz, have you people heard? You must fix this thing because it your fault o. 

First and foremost, he is mad and has no one to tell him but I'm here to help him. Why would he feel entitled to mine and other women's outrage? Please riddle me that. When the girl said her generation was smelly and crafty and such like, I was like...

Girl...bye!

This was probably most people's reaction to her. If anyone went in on her, it was mainly just bants. I knew her ass was not talking to or about me or anyone I know for that matter. Yoruba say eni je fuku l'ara n fu. So I paid her no mind. I knew she wouldn't be let off by Nigerian twitter, instagram etc but most of it was probably again....bants. But some guys were PISSED! Video upon video after video because of one salty, nameless person? M'kay. That is not even the big issue. The big issue for me is that it was just expected that we the women would just don our cape and commence the caping process, stat!

Isn't it funny though that the Nigerian women who are meant to race to the defence of our poor, helpless men are possibly the most disrespected women on earth and by some of these same men? Isn't it funny? Truth is, the same thing boy-o was accusing us of, has been done over and over again to us by some of these men. I know they all don't hold these views or act the same but the amount of dragging out on the interweb about Nigerian women is vast, undeniable and inexcusable and we've yet to  issue a fatwa.

Most of these instagram comedians rose to fame off the backs of caricaturing Nigerian women...and in the most unflattering light, might I add. That's comedy abi? Ok.

What of the countless tweets and videos from some idiotic moron that is in the ass crack of Europe somewhere and has managed to trick some woman into marrying him for papers who comes to proclaim how there will be no more Chioma for him, only Ashleys and Beckys going forward? That's individual preference abi? Ok.

Does anyone remember one babe that was caught catfishing on twitter a few years ago? Her name begins with a V..Varina...Vana...something. I can't remember, who was cussing Nigerian women upandan twitter and these same Nigerian men were gassing her that she was the best thing since the formulation of the jollof rice recipe? Those were bants abi? Ok.

The particular observation that got my goat was from some guy; fairly active on twitter, who stays disrespecting women. From his tweets, it is clear he's not interested in your intellect as a woman. He stays talking about how he just wants to suck breast. Chief objectificator of women but he's now pressed when I and women like me don't race to the defence of him and his ilk? 

if you don't git..!!!!

I was tickled by the fact that he felt lending our voices to the outcry and subsequently gagging us from further commentary on crappy behaviour was the only solution. Talk about putting a band-aid on a gangrened leg. 

So while I have outrage, it is towards someone that feels he has a stake in my outrage and how I choose to express it. IF you feel a nonentity's ire was directed towards you, address it and keep it moving. Stop attempting to stir up mob action against someone most people thought was irritatingly amusing. 

Day 11: Phenomenal Woman.

Did you see me skip a day yesterday? Sorry. Churning out these things daily is not easy jare. I also don't want to just be rambling on. So I may take a couple of days to get my bearing from time to time. But rest assured, I WILL complete the 30 days. So here's to 19 more days...!

Today, I am talking intangibles.

I am fascinated by those things that we cannot see and/or touch that are just essential to our essence. When someone says "you have a certain je ne said quoi about you, I can't just put my finger on it" that excites me to no end. This is mainly for the ladies, but don't tune of gentlemen. We women sometimes don't rate our own magic. We often think it is about the face beat, the laid edges, the slayed weaves, the latest fashions and the expensive gadgets. The society we live in sometimes approves this message. But there is something to us when we peel off the lashes, wash off the makeup, remove the waist trainers and take off the wigs. There is a certain something to us that we have but we don't rate. The quiet strength, graciousness and dignity. Beauty in hidden attributes. Some us have reduced ourselves or have been reduced to only our physical attributes but I say we must celebrate our intangibles....even more than we celebrate the tangibles. 

Today, I am sharing one of my absolute favourite poem with you all. This poem is the very embodiment of the self love ethos. It was the first poem that understood, articulated and insisted that the intangibles were the best things about being a woman. Anytime I consider this poem, I come to the realization that we must appreciate and indeed celebrate those nuances that make us uniquely us. Those things that we do not rate and have considered secondary to what we are told we must project and demonstrate. 

Without further ado, I give you Phenomenal Woman by the phenomenally incomparable Dr. Maya Angelou and I invite you to carefully consider the words of this poem and, if you haven't already, begin a journey of self love...the love for the intangibles. 

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me. 

Day 10: Dating is a nightmare!

Day 10.

Today, I'll be talking about dating.

I've been on (pitifully) few dates in the last couple of years. I have shared in the past how much I hate First Dates BUT I have now come to the realisation that I hate ALL dating...period. First, second, third, fourth...whatever. I used to be excited for dates - planning what to wear, wondering where I'll going, what the guy'll be like etc. I hit my thirties and dating and everything associated with it became a woeful chore. I don't know how it happened. But it did. 

A friend of mine got married earlier in the year. We were talking about the man she got married to and how they met. They go waaaaay back to when we were teenagers. They lost touch and reconnected like 2 years ago. During the discussion, she hypothesised that at our age, the chances of meeting and getting married to new people were quite slim and it was most likely that we wind up with people already in our circle. Well...maybe. I agree with the premise and conclusion...to some extent (and feel free to weigh in).

It's become increasingly harder to meet and connect with new people...mainly because I don't wanna. I'd rather be in bed tweeting inane things but that's my mother's definition of grieving the Holy Spirit. But I've found myself lacking the patience required for these things. Please dear friends who try to set me up, I love you for trying. This is not an indictment on your efforts and I will not spit in your faces by refusing to go on dates when asked. It is just haaaaaaarrrrddddd. The effort one has to put in sef!   The sussing each other out. The appearing to be a sane person when all I want to do is lapse into Yoruba and pick my nose. The being polite even in the face of foolishness so my yards of wife material are not compromised. The realisation that the thing is going nowhere because..."it's like this one's head is not correct". The whole thing is pants. 

My feelings towards dating kinda proves my friend's theory though. I find the process of getting to know someone new extremely exhausting. Like I said in my former post, I want to be at like date 20, where I'm extremely comfortable. I want to skip a trillion steps ahead. It'll just be easier to date someone who's known you for time...warts and all. They are making a somewhat educated decision to date your bonkers ass. The new guy gets to meet a representative of you. No matter how real you "keeps" it, it is guaranteed that on the first couple of dates, it is not your real face you show to your date. Therein lies the problem for me. I'v been single so long that I've gotten super comfortable with my real face and like it a lot. The whole dating song and dance requires bringing out my semi-fake date face from retirement. It's too much of a hassle jare. I barely have the patience for other people's fake date faces either. I spend the date sort of trying to work out their real face. It's a fun game and one of the only reasons I go on dates these days. I appear like I'm listening with rapt attention but I'm basically wondering how you murder a chicken drum stick when no one is there while the poor dude is daintily eating the chicken with fork and knife. Yinmu. 

The last date I went on was a significant pointer to how over dates I was. We went on two dates and put a bullet in the whole shebang. That's the beauty of being older, I guess. No need to form "let's see where this is going". We both decided that going on further dates would be a waste of both our time and his money. It felt like my fake date face was broken. I couldn't pull it together to even convince myself that I was doing great so I bet he saw right through the nonsense too. He was no picnic either and as such, we called it. 

So the second half of my friend's theory is dating someone in one's circle. That's laughable for me. I've sort of taken a look around the circle. Yeah...no. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of great guys BUT they're either married, in a relationship, we've already given it a shot, we will NEVER give it a shot etc. So that's not looking immediately feasible unless someone surfaces out of nowhere that wasn't in my contemplation to begin with. But I feel like I'd really like that. You know, dating someone who has known me for time. The surprises would be limited. When you hear me chewing ice crim-crim like plantain chips, you will not be shook. You'll just know it's my way. I don't want to have to ease someone into that experience.  I think this is why social media dating and marriage is on the rise...it's meeting someone new but you've already met their minds and even their likeness in some cases (awon oni "noods")  and you like what you see. It makes it easier to ease into the dating process because you've already skipped several steps. Anyways, we'll see sha. 

Till then, all I know is that dating is currently a sweat inducing nightmare for me. 

What are your thoughts on dating? 

Day 9: Perplxities and God

It's  actually Day 14 but I've been a truant. So I give to you day 9.

Day 9 originally fell on the day the election results were announced. Like a lot of folks, I was demoralized. I stuffed my face with donuts and took to the bed like a character out of a Jane Austen novel. Later in the evening, I put word out that I would not be blogging, so distraught was I. A reader of the blog jokingly commented that he was looking forward to reading my rant on the incident. I wanted to rant, believe me, I just couldn't find the words. I was so sad I couldn't bring myself to do my daily devotion.

The next day, I decided to catch up on my devotion. I use the 'Everyday With Jesus' daily devotional. It is published six times a year and each little booklet contains two months worth of devotion material. The devotion materials were all penned by a man called Dr. Selwyn Hughes who died in 2006. The materials continue to be revised and updated by the guy who is now in charge of the ministry. The theme for the months of November and December is "A new perspective" and they've been breaking down Psalm 73.

I say all this to say, this was something that was originally written somewhere between 1965 and 2006 and the writer may not have anticipated the events of 8th & 9th November...but God did. The anchor text for the day was Isaiah 55:6-13 and the topic was "The root of some perplexities". To make what I'm on about clearer, I need you to check out the devotional material (excuse the scribbling)

Does the description of the "person" sound like anyone we know or have had to listen to for most of this year? Most of us wondered what went wrong for the popular candidate to lose to someone such as this. If you didn't wonder, I know I did. But God had moved to allay my fears, to let me know that though I didn't know what was going on, He did. Guys, that was enough for me. I felt God's peace on this issue immediately. I'm still not a fan of dude. I flick the channel when he comes on. I may never be a fan. BUT now I know that there is a plan. Trying to untangle the plan to where I'm satisfied is me trying to match wits with an all-knowing, all-seeing God. It's a useless waste of time in my honest opinion.

What I got from this was that we tend to over-analyse issues to where we render the issues great and our God small. God is not asking us not to think, He wants us to think...and then trust. It is imperative that we understand that nothing is happening behind His back as they say. He wasn't caught unawares by all this. We need to trust then utilize prayer for the peace to accept the process till we see God's plans play out.

So if this has bugged you as it has me, I invite you to trust God and trust His process.