When we were approaching the new year, my cousin and I were going through a lot of boy drama. The "should I or shouldn't I?" "He's stressing me" variety. My sister ignored our bitching for the most part. When the new year rolled around, we were having a catch up chitchat and my sister goes, "look, enough of the drama. If you guys are not happy, leave the relationships. Stop being so stressed. Our motto for this new year is Improvement or Recruitment"
See, wise beyond her years. Improvement or Recruitment. It really is as simple as that. Sometimes, the solution to our boy/girl problems is not necessarily sticking it out till things become better; which is the solution a lot of people want to go for or think they should go for. After all, I've said in the past that I believe patience is a key virtue that anyone who wants to go into a relationship long-term, must have.
But there are some relationships that haven't been built on the right foundation and are not built to last. If you're in a relationship and you're stressing about the whole thing cos the person is just not doing you right, do something for me. Think back to the last conversation you had and try to recall verbatim whatever it is you spoke about. Can you remember? If you can't remember abeg don't pop a fuse in your brain. (Btw, if you have the memory of an elephant and you can remember what you wore on 30th June 1991, this exercise might not work for you. #justsaying) Now think back to the last time you had sex. Can you remember that?
Ok, compare notes now. If your most vivid memories are your conversations, you may consider working it out cos conversations show a deep connection and a meeting of the minds. It may be worth giving it a shot with that person. If your most vivid memory is the sex, then you're barking up the wrong tree. Sex is purely physical, it is when you add other elements to it that it becomes elevated from just the physical to a soul connection. You're not doing anything special by having sex. I just deleted a picture of two dragon flies having sex on the wall of my building, from my phone ( I know.....a bit pervy) All I'm saying is, learn to prioritise and know what is important. If the relationship is going on with just your bodies and when you're out of touching range, you really don't know what to say to each other, I only have one question for you....Really????
If you have a girl who is not ready to commit the whole of herself to you but you would rather have half of her than none at all, then I suggest you call a few friends, form a search party and go and look for your self esteem. Do you think that lowly of yourself? It is time for her to improve or you get to stepping. Trust me for, every one shady girl, there are 5 loyal ones. You need to make up your mind to be happy. Being single is not an incurable disease. Take time to find yourself and find a great person who wants to share with you, pray with you, rejoice with you and love you. They are out there. Relationships are meant to provide you with companions that make you happy. That's the blueprint. That's why God gave Eve to Adam. If you're unhappy in yours, it is because you're in the wrong one so your blueprint is kinda wonky.
As a cheery aside from all my nay sayings, this was hastily thrown together cos I'm off to Ghana tomorrow (see here to know how this came about) and I didn't want to miss my one post a week target :) Ghana! Ghana!! Ghana!!! Can't wait. I intend to have maximum fun. :D so catch ya larra folks.