So, I was going to court this morning, minding my own business and the driver turned on the radio. The station was Wazobia FM. I largely ignored it but a certain news report jolted me out of nonchalant oblivion. Now, my pidgin borders on unpatriotic (not quite as sound as Sisi Yemmie's) but here's my version of the news report Wazobia FM style.......
'Our Aunty First, Dame Patience Goodluck don knack ogbonge promotion for Bayelsa as she with 17 ogbonge-ogbonge oga for government work wey we dey call Civil Servant don promote reach Perm Sec level for Bayelsa State'.
Whaaaaaaattttttt???? The driver and I exchanged glances and I don't know who felt sorrier for being a Nigerian under this dispensation between the two of us. We quickly tuned to other English speaking stations and surprise....surprise...Wazobia wasn't making stuff up! This mess is for real!!! I feel like I'm being treated to front row seats at a Richard Pryor concert. This is jokes...no more....no less.
Is this where Nigeria is headed? I mean, they always had the decency to appoint some clueless shite who AT LEAST has a degree in the relevant field but now, I guess subterfuge has gone to the dogs and shagging the president is now a bonafide Civil Service position. Who knew?
To add insult to this already festering injury, I read a commentary by some lick-arse called Maobuya Nangi Obu (that's right, I called you a lick-arse. Come find me.....LICK-ARSE!!!) who is probably looking for an undeserved political appointment or just the opportunity to lick snot from the floors of the corridors of 'power' (I use that term with a lot of irony btw). This simpering ass wipe essentially said that as a nation, we should be grateful that the 1st Lady was 'willing to be employed under a Governor you can command if you choose to'. Amidst the plethora of nonsensical reasoning that accompanied the 'gem' aforestated, this idiot, contradicted himself by concluding that afterall, there is no such office known as the office of the 1st Lady. That's right dear, there is no such office known as the office of the 1st lady in the constitution. You know why? There is no NEED for the office of a 1st Lady. She is a wife. We accept that she comes with the deal of president-having, so we give her a ceremonial title. Her job? To support her husband and hold his hands and soothe his frayed nerves and bruised ego, LIKE A NORMAL WIFE!!!! Well a normal wife who travels a lot and whose aides are enough to fill up the National Stadium, but who's counting? So what does she need office space, stationary and a bunch of business cards bearing 'First Lady' for???? Givvus a freaking break and get a clue!
In conclusion, we were asked by Obu to applaud and emulate the good leadership displayed by these Circus freaks.
Yeah, I think not, Obu. First of all, keep your blatant prostration for contracts and unmerited government slots off my radar or I will 'enter you'. Secondly, what is there to emulate? That we should all aspire to positions that we have in no way shape or form qualified for? What has qualified her for this role? Is it her long and meritorious (imagined of course) service in Government? That as a girl, I should knock hard work on the head and just sleep my way to the top? That I should receive a promotion alongside others who have diligently (or not so diligently....I mean, civil servants are one kind except my SEC family of course. Lol) worked for many years to achieve this honor? I really don't know what I am to either applaud or emulate. That your stupid ass could even say that with a straight face is beyond hysterical. We appear to be a nation of the foolish being led by the foolish and we wonder why we're going nowhere that's because idiots can only be led in a circle to give an illusion of going somewhere.
I refuse to be led in a circle. This is bs and we most definitely should be condemning it not applauding it. Obu's idea that this will cut down corruption is hogwash and he should be flayed for thinking like a dunce, not keeping it to himself and vomiting it all over cyberspace. Shame on you Obu and people of your ilk. I'm done with this mess. The only way to go from here is further downhill. So all hail the new Perm Sec.
'Our Aunty First, Dame Patience Goodluck don knack ogbonge promotion for Bayelsa as she with 17 ogbonge-ogbonge oga for government work wey we dey call Civil Servant don promote reach Perm Sec level for Bayelsa State'.
Whaaaaaaattttttt???? The driver and I exchanged glances and I don't know who felt sorrier for being a Nigerian under this dispensation between the two of us. We quickly tuned to other English speaking stations and surprise....surprise...Wazobia wasn't making stuff up! This mess is for real!!! I feel like I'm being treated to front row seats at a Richard Pryor concert. This is jokes...no more....no less.
Is this where Nigeria is headed? I mean, they always had the decency to appoint some clueless shite who AT LEAST has a degree in the relevant field but now, I guess subterfuge has gone to the dogs and shagging the president is now a bonafide Civil Service position. Who knew?
To add insult to this already festering injury, I read a commentary by some lick-arse called Maobuya Nangi Obu (that's right, I called you a lick-arse. Come find me.....LICK-ARSE!!!) who is probably looking for an undeserved political appointment or just the opportunity to lick snot from the floors of the corridors of 'power' (I use that term with a lot of irony btw). This simpering ass wipe essentially said that as a nation, we should be grateful that the 1st Lady was 'willing to be employed under a Governor you can command if you choose to'. Amidst the plethora of nonsensical reasoning that accompanied the 'gem' aforestated, this idiot, contradicted himself by concluding that afterall, there is no such office known as the office of the 1st Lady. That's right dear, there is no such office known as the office of the 1st lady in the constitution. You know why? There is no NEED for the office of a 1st Lady. She is a wife. We accept that she comes with the deal of president-having, so we give her a ceremonial title. Her job? To support her husband and hold his hands and soothe his frayed nerves and bruised ego, LIKE A NORMAL WIFE!!!! Well a normal wife who travels a lot and whose aides are enough to fill up the National Stadium, but who's counting? So what does she need office space, stationary and a bunch of business cards bearing 'First Lady' for???? Givvus a freaking break and get a clue!
In conclusion, we were asked by Obu to applaud and emulate the good leadership displayed by these Circus freaks.
Yeah, I think not, Obu. First of all, keep your blatant prostration for contracts and unmerited government slots off my radar or I will 'enter you'. Secondly, what is there to emulate? That we should all aspire to positions that we have in no way shape or form qualified for? What has qualified her for this role? Is it her long and meritorious (imagined of course) service in Government? That as a girl, I should knock hard work on the head and just sleep my way to the top? That I should receive a promotion alongside others who have diligently (or not so diligently....I mean, civil servants are one kind except my SEC family of course. Lol) worked for many years to achieve this honor? I really don't know what I am to either applaud or emulate. That your stupid ass could even say that with a straight face is beyond hysterical. We appear to be a nation of the foolish being led by the foolish and we wonder why we're going nowhere that's because idiots can only be led in a circle to give an illusion of going somewhere.
I refuse to be led in a circle. This is bs and we most definitely should be condemning it not applauding it. Obu's idea that this will cut down corruption is hogwash and he should be flayed for thinking like a dunce, not keeping it to himself and vomiting it all over cyberspace. Shame on you Obu and people of your ilk. I'm done with this mess. The only way to go from here is further downhill. So all hail the new Perm Sec.
#thatisall!!! Have i told you i love you Cherry? #nohomo
ReplyDeleteIf we don't do something, this people will walk on our head someday. I keep saying it
ReplyDeletewow!!!...with the above post and comment...need we say more?...
ReplyDeletea big hiss to people like the above who call on radio just to say rubbish
who knows...maybe he's not even a full citizen or his face got slapped with money...
we never can tell where ppl like that brew up from....smh!
Business cards bearing First Lady? You say circus, I say an insane institution. She needs to be checked, just in case the insane syndrome might have conquered her.
ReplyDeleteThis is a huge guess, but let's just say Obu was paid to spill out trash!
well said.i would not add more words except few insults here and there to everybody that contributed to this charade of elevating an illiterate to the position of a perm sec.
ReplyDeletedont even know what to say to the whole thing.......when i heard it, i was very angry, then depressed, then sad. dont even know where nigeria is heading
ReplyDeletewords cannot even express my irritation when i heard d news . Tante Cherry as always has hit the nail on the head. useless leaders we have in this nation,may God help us .
ReplyDeletei mean hey, lets take a second here and look at the bright side in all of this. you know, the bright side is that...if nothing else...at least...er,...damnit. there is no bright side. babes, emulate madam patience and sleep your way to perm sec positions. just find a guy with potential and a future in politics (that would be me) and let the shagging begin! i'm taking applications now. hurry while stocks last.
ReplyDeleteCherry hitting the koko as always. I have laughed, I have cried. but it is no laffing matter. Bayelsa has now been saddled with a perm sec who will not only be ineffectual but mostly absent. I know how perm secs are needed to supervise and sign things. Will the directors under her be expected to fly to Aso rock to sign documnts or what? throws my hands up in the air. Only in Naija...
ReplyDeleteI love u! Nothing more to add. I felt just like Ginger felt!!! Nothing else to say, NOTHING
ReplyDelete