**Disclaimer: This post is not that deep, don't let the title fool you. I just couldn't think of anything else to use as the title other than "cry, cry baby, baby no dey shame" and as I have decided to tuck in my innate razzness, this is the title I landed. M'kay? Ok. We move!**
On most days, I am as tough as nails. I'm more likely to eat you alive than...do any other anecdote about not eating you alive. I'm about my business shouldering responsibilities, solving problems, praying and carrying on my daily life. BUT ladies and gentlemen, I am a shameless and unapologetic cry baby. Oh yes. I am coming out of the closet.
On most days, I am as tough as nails. I'm more likely to eat you alive than...do any other anecdote about not eating you alive. I'm about my business shouldering responsibilities, solving problems, praying and carrying on my daily life. BUT ladies and gentlemen, I am a shameless and unapologetic cry baby. Oh yes. I am coming out of the closet.
I'm here. I cry. Deal with it.
Chaleeeee!! I be crying...BUT I be crying like a BAAAWWWWSSSSS!
I read a good book and I cry. I watch a minutely sad part in a movie and I cry. I hear a touching story and I cry. When Denny Duquette died in Grey's Anatomy Season 1, I bawled like I was his play cousin and I was being paid to mourn! I basically swore off Grey's Anatomy forever. So don't talk to me about Grey's Anatomy or that demoness Shonda Rhimes.
I read a good book and I cry. I watch a minutely sad part in a movie and I cry. I hear a touching story and I cry. When Denny Duquette died in Grey's Anatomy Season 1, I bawled like I was his play cousin and I was being paid to mourn! I basically swore off Grey's Anatomy forever. So don't talk to me about Grey's Anatomy or that demoness Shonda Rhimes.
I have a good cry at least once a month.
I used to see crying as a sign of weakness. Like you were the ultimate 'freg' (only Shagamu girls know what this means) if you cry. So I always tried to "chest" my hurts.
My mum made crying such a capital offence. She would hit you to the point that you were SURE that you had only one last breath left in your nostrils and if she should hit you one more 'gain, you would straight up just die. After putting you through that, she would now say "My friend hold your lips! Why are you crying? Did I beat you?" Ah!!! Did you beat me, ma??? Ok, kuku kill me now!
I used to see crying as a sign of weakness. Like you were the ultimate 'freg' (only Shagamu girls know what this means) if you cry. So I always tried to "chest" my hurts.
My mum made crying such a capital offence. She would hit you to the point that you were SURE that you had only one last breath left in your nostrils and if she should hit you one more 'gain, you would straight up just die. After putting you through that, she would now say "My friend hold your lips! Why are you crying? Did I beat you?" Ah!!! Did you beat me, ma??? Ok, kuku kill me now!
At an early age, I realised that I felt things a little bit too deeply. I would get into fights with my younger sister and when it came time to report what happened, I couldn't do it without dissolving into a puddle of tears. If we were asked to come and make a report of what happened, that little, dry-faced rapscallion would just say her own part and move on, meanwhile, my own voice will be shaking like jelly and tears would be spilling out of the corners of my eyes. My mum termed me "a su'kun ro'jo"- she who must shed (in her opinion, crocodile) tears to state her case- this was an uber capital offence in my household. It meant you were looking for sympathy with your leaky eyes. Just state your case and gerraway. But I didn't know how to do that so I never won in the Federal High Court of Mummy. But there was nothing I could do about the way I was wired.
Having navigated the mummy drama, it was time to navigate the boyfriend quagmire. This one was a bit funny because my boyfriends never could reconcile my two personas. I'm take charge, determined, single minded and have been told too many times that I argue and act like a guy. Since I really wasn't one to use tears to get my way in a relationship (I mean...I have, before. It is a great tool in the female arsenal...whatever. Sue me!) they just didn't know what to do when I dissolved into puddles of tears. It was often a sober moment for them when they've done something that made me cry; I think they felt like they'd broken me or something. Do we hug her? Do we throw chocolates at her? Do we leave her in peace? Can we call someone? No dude! If you cry like a baaawwwwssss like me, you know that you don't need anyone to comfort you. Every crier knows how to self soothe, dangit! So can I live?! I just want to cry for a few minutes, is that ok with you? You can't expect me to be hurt and not cry. That's reckless of you.
Like I earlier said, I have since stopped viewing crying as a sign of weakness. With all the hurts, anger, frustration, disappointment etc. we face as human beings, if you are able to go through life without letting those rivers of healing waters flow once in a while, you, sir/ma are a serial killer in training and you can't tell me nothing!
Where is my empirical evidence that people who bottle up all their hurt and anger instead of embracing the avenue for letting it out, are serial killers? Well.. I have none other than the way I feel before and after the water works.
Now imagine if I was bottling up rage one after the other, one day, there would be no space to bottle an extra thing up and I would erupt like an over squeezed close-up tube and begin to perform my morbid fantasies first on animals, then small children then you lot wouldn't be safe. I watch a lot of CI and Discovery channel and this is how the serial killers of today are born. True story. Tears serve a purpose. I don't believe God just added them as extra accessories to our starter packs.
Sometimes, I'm not even hurt or anything, I think of something and it gives me the weepies. I try to ignore it but I'm like pringles...once the first tear pops out, I just can't stop. It really does soothe me.
I've found that after a good cry, I feel more clear headed. I don't know if this is just me. But I've always been able to think more clearly and strategize after "I have washed my eyes with good old fashioned salt water".
So I have a most memorable crying experience story. Bear in mind, I have lost loved ones and cried to the point of exhaustion, but my most memorable one was the night before I submitted my Master's thesis. I was alone in the 24 hour room. I had a 20,000 word dissertation that I had to shrink to 12,000 (well, 12,500...500 words grace) and I hadn't even written my conclusion! I cried from like 6pm to 6am. I cried to the point that my face rejected the tears because my skin was raw with all salt from the tears and the rubbing with my hands, my top and tissue paper. I literally cried till I could physically cry no more. The entire skin surface of my face was like:
It was a massively horrendous time...but as they say in Nollywood, to God be the glory.
So let's talk. Were you or are you still a champion "chester"? Were you one of those kids that ate snot while they cried (I was...btw)? Do you cry at the drop of a hat? What things that could possibly release your kraken of tears? I've shown you mine, now show me yours. I KNOW I'm not the only cry baby out there.
Deuces Cheries!
Cherrywine
I'm emotional, but I find it difficult to shed tears. Cried once in the last decade, it was at a friend's burial.
ReplyDeleteI think generally, it is harder for men to cry. Society expects men to be stoic and I think that indoctrination has found such a solid footing. It is quite interesting. So may I ask what you do with your emotions? Do they just naturally dissipate?
DeleteCherry I don't cry. We grew up not expressing emotions... if you laugh too much you are unserious , if you cry it means you are looking for attention, if you choke it's cos you are careless. Name it... very funny.
ReplyDeleteSo I grew up not knowing how to express emotions up to the point that nothing fazed or excited me.
So even after God began to work with my heart, tears still didn't come as much as I wanted. It's funny sometimes, I'll feel strong emotional pain and I'll be searching for tears.
But Glory to God I cried like 3 weeks ago, from a broken heart. I guess I was pained seriously because we both love each other but genotype no let us see road, and by end of last month we parted. One day in my office I thought about it, and come and see River Niger, free flowing tears, tears unstoppable. I cried on my desk like 20 minutes, went out to my balcony so my colleagues don't enter my office and see mye all teary, did another 10 minutes cry there. Came back to office and continued. hain!! I had to leave the building to go shopping. I shock for the tears.
Then last week I was watching a sad indian movie and I caught myself blinking back tears and I had to say to my self ' Taaa...stop it there!! Who opened the tap to any-small-thing-tears taaaa stop it'
Lol... so I'm not a crier like you (you need award)... but I cried recently.
Oh my goodness! I am hugging you from where I am. Tell the truth tho, after that 30 mins of good, solid crying, you knew the situation had not changed, BUT you felt somewhat better abi? Allow the tears, my darling. Loool @ award. I'm sorry about your recent pain. Love can pain! But you guys can consider other medical alternatives if you're open to it. But in all, all things work together for our good. So stay strong mama!
DeleteYes I must confess, I felt better after the water works.
DeleteYes I believe all things work together for good. I guess that really is what faith it: Believing God will come through for you on a matter, and if He doesn't then it is because He has something better in store for you
Ah, my sister, I am def not as bad as you (My sis, Prim is) but yea, I let loose sometimes and it feels good. I try to do it when no one is around though. I'm not showing anyone my softie insides. This gangster rep won't maintain itself.
ReplyDeleteGreys Anatomy is of the devil! Always making me leak
Lmao at gangster rep won't maintain itself. Yes mama G! It's good to let loose sometimes. It is soothing
DeleteLoooll. I dey laff here. My own cry is very expensive o. When the matter has reached a level I can't take anymore, I cry when I want to pray, and ask God to take control.
ReplyDeleteWhen God cursed me
That one ehn, I have overused that getting overwhelmed and crying on God's neck strategy . Good thing it is ever green. Lmao at expensive tear. Sorry o, mama golden cry. Lol.
DeleteAbeg if we are not collecting all these tears to make tear juice, then hmm, ehmm.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have an escape route though. An escape route that works. Wish I did.
*walks away whistling Fergie*
Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! Tear juice!!!!!!!!! Just leave now! It's good o. It has helped me sha
DeleteI am also a very emotional person and when the heat is too much for me to handle, i cry. Movies also make me cry. I can never forget Sweet November, Madam Enya also did not help matters with her sad soundtrack.
ReplyDeleteEnya needs to take several seats with that beautifully haunting voice. I'm glad to know Im not the only one out here.
DeleteI cried for Lion King. I cried for titanic. I cried for a walk to remember. I cry when I am angry that I want to break something. So I guess I am a crier yes?
ReplyDeleteWalk into this big embrace. Welcome to our club. Have you eaten?
DeleteI cry! don't roll your eyes there. okay I don't cry like waa waa waa, but I shed a tear every now and then. In Law School and right before my civil paper, I just kuku cried in advance for the failure I thought I was to embark on, then I wiped my tears and got busy. I cry in church, I can't go through the worship session without a tissue more often than not. Not because I'm distressed, I just get overwhelmed. I shed a tear when I'm talking to God about someone, like that will help Him answer their prayers and mine faster. I shed a quick tear yesterday when I lost a colleague. I shed a tear every now and then. No apologies
ReplyDeleteYou???????????????? Wawu!!!!! I get that crying in the presence of God. I do too. Crying during exams in law school...babanla standard move. No shame here. It's either you just cry or you run mad. I choose cry.
DeleteHa! I cry o! Even in public I cry. And with my list of lost loved ones, I cry like every other day...it never takes away the pain though. But what can I do na. It's just to get busy until I'm overcome with emotion again.
ReplyDeleteI remember our stint in OA made you cry. It made me angry! Lol.
I still think crying is a sign of weakness, but when I am overwhelmed, I let it go. Frustration is my biggest trigger. But I honestly don't know about feeling better once I cry. I'm still an underground serial killer and that is in spite of all the crying I've done recently.
ReplyDelete