Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Marriage Pact IV

For all of you crazily stalking me about the final draft, if I get fired, you berra have a job for me in NNPC. Here's your final draft. Now...go away!!!!!!


I dropped my phone like it had developed fangs and venom when I finished listening to Dami screeching and dropping f-bombs like she grew up in an inner-city ghetto. 

What has come over this girl for Christ's sake? I've tried my best to get to the bottom of why she has been so reticent and uncommunicative lately. Joy had mentioned that perhaps she was feeling left out since we got boo'ed up and I tried to include her and invite her to more things. Most times she would say no, sometimes she would say yes and just not turn up. I wondered what it was that was eating her but this her message gave me sort of a clue into her head. She sounded like Glen Close in Fatal Attraction. I could not believe how deranged my best friend was sounding! No word from her for weeks on end and the first piece of communication was the ramblings of a mentally disturbed person! Chineke!

But I think I finally figured it out. She had a problem with me dating Joy. But why couldn't she just come out and say that??? After all she is my best friend. These women are a strange kettle of fish. But come to think of it...why would anyone have a problem with Joy? Least of all someone that barely knows her and has not made any attempt to even know her better?

 What happened on this spa date? Maybe I shouldn't have tried to ambush Dami into liking Joy but I felt I had no choice. She wasn't even giving the poor girl a chance. In my opinion, Dami's irrational behaviour has to stop. Ah-han. Fuck me...all the way??? Na wa o. By hook or by crook, I have to see her and talk to her asap. 


Dear Dami, I approached you like a grown woman at the spa hoping to hash out whatever the issue was between us but you didn't even have the decency to say to my face that you didn't like me. It's fine though, cos I don't care much for you either. It was important to Obi, that's why I made the effort. Obi may be naive to think you are just annoyed about our relationship and that you don't like me which is why you are lashing out but woman to woman, we both know better. He told me about your silly pact. Seeing as we no longer need to pretend about anything any more, please allow me inform you in the kindest way possible...PACT OVER! Obi is MY man with it. I told you that you could carry on being friends, well that privilege is now withdrawn. Have a nice life! J.

This was what I woke up to the day after the spa. I  have died!!!!!! This earthworm had the effrontery to tell me that Obi was her man. The Obi that I  recalibrated to the man that was now "her man" ??? Me??? Pact over??? Well, we will just see about that Lil' Miss Joy. Obi had called the night before, wanting to meet. Well, meet we shall. It is on now Joy! 


Obi walked to the door of the apartment. He could not place his finger on why he was suddenly's just Dami for heaven's sake he thought to himself as he cranked the handle and pushed the door open on the invitation to 'come in'.  

The sight that greeted his eyes notched up his anxiety level to heart failure was he had never seen her before. 

It looked like Dami had express ordered the entire erotique collection...a balconette bra, thigh high stockings, suspender belt...the full works in the sheerest lace ever. 

She walked across the room to the door, her red, red, red, lips saying something he couldn't hear as all the blood that made a man's brain functional were engaged in other 'pressing' matters on the southside of his anatomy. 

He forced his ears to pay attention

Dami: No answer?? I must take that as a compliment that you like what you see.

Obi: *as mute as a fish*

Dami swayed up to Obi, her heart pounding in me be dis?...she wondered. Vixen did not come naturally to her but desperate times and desperate measures have gone hand in hand since records began. Anyways, she had gone too far to back down now. High risk, high rewards,right? she psyched herself. Obi was still rooted to the spot like someone Medusa smiled at, so Dami moved in for the kill, covering his lips with hers. 

He responded...boy did he respond...

Obi did not know that attraction could be ratched up to the nth degree like this but whatever Dami was doing right now, it was working for him. It is about to go down!!!! 

His subconscious was trying to remind him of he was a man and it had been scientifically proven that he couldn't multi-task! He had to focus all his energies on the epicness about to take place and revisit that thought later...

Obi: Dami, that was awesome! What came over you??? 

He asked as he spooned deeper into her little spoon. She giggled cutely and they both sighed, basking in the afterglow.

Dami: Thank God you came to your senses. 

Obi: Hmmm

Dami: I was so upset yesterday when Joy was texting talking about you were her man, pact over, friendship over and all sorts of crap that I am not even prepared to remember...

JOY!!!! THAT'S WHO MY BRAIN WAS TRYING TO REMIND ME OF!!!! CRAP!!! CRAP!!!! CRAP!!!! Obi was freaking out!!! It dawned on him that he had just slept with his best friend of almost one decade! Way to go douche!!! Then he realised she was still talking

Dami: now that we've done this, it is time to stop hiding how we both feel and go along with our already laid out plan. Don't you think?

Obi: Why would Joy text you ???? And wh..what plans?

 He made to get up, pushing her gently out of the crook of his arm. Dami turned to him with a smile like he was being silly

Dami: Abeg gerrout jare. What do you mean what plan? We've always talked about settling down. We were on course till you got caught up in this Joy business. Now that's out of the way, for which I forgive you btw, let's get back to the regularly scheduled programming.

Obi: Dami, we need to talk.

 He saw the irony in wanting to have a serious conversation when he was butt-ass nekkid in her bed. so he got up and started fishing for his items of clothing. Dami sat up as well, looking a bit dazed at his statement and pulling the duvet to her chest to protect her oh so delectable modesty. Focus man!!! , the no-nonsense side of his brain yelled.

Obi: Dami, I didn't mean for this to happen. To be honest, it was fantastic, but I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry I led you on by it happening but the Joy thing is not a fluke, a business I got caught up in or anything else. I'm in love with her. I'm getting married to her. 

At his statement, she suddenly snapped and started...laughing!!!! Dami laughed so hysterically! She wanted to stop but she couldn't. It was like she had heard the best joke this side of humanity!!! She laughed and laughed and laughed so much so that Obi became concerned for her life.

When she finally quietened down, she looked like a cross between a demon and an even more powerful demon. The voice that came out of her was like something from The Exorcist. 

Dami: What about our pact? 

She asked gesturing to the notarized pact Obi had given her a few years back for valentine's, hung above her fireplace.

Obi: Dami, that was a j...

Dami: Please say 'joke' so I can end your life!!! Go on...SAY IT!!!

She looked like she could fillet him bare handed right about now, so Obi thought the better about completing the statement and shut the heck up. She slowly got out of bed and pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts. Straightening up and facing him, she cocked her head to the side and asked

Dami: A joke huh? When I was putting my life on hold for you, it wasn't funny then. When you were running guys off left, right and center, there was nothing funny about the situation. When you would nitpick to shit the few guys I actually liked, noticing how they were spotty, how they were not smart enough for me, how could I even consider a guy that lived in Dorms, the joke was not apparent to all. NOW IT IS A JOKE????NOW???? I AM THIRTY FUCKING ONE AND YOU PULL THIS SHIT????

She ended the statement with a copper vase from Egypt, whizzing past his head and narrowly missing him.

Dami: Now it's funny??? Because you have Joy I've suddenly become a clown??? Vacations???Hours and hours of my personal time spent buying things for and decorating your house just for another woman to waltz in and live there?????You were content to let me lavish my life on you while you held out waiting for your Joy and dangling the promise of a 'maybe marriage' in front of my eyes. Who the hell are you or what the hell do you think you are?

Every question, statement and silence punctuated by shoes, bedside clock, mugs, hand dryer, absolutely anything within Dami's reach, flying  past Obi's head

Obi was in the fight for his head not to be broken!!!

Obi: Dami!!! Stop this. I'm sorry

Dami: Not yet are not yet sorry. But please believe you will be *dry laughter* You strung me along, keeping me free and clear 'just in case'. I was "Dami in the glass...break open in case of emergency".  Now, you are bailing out. We will just see about that, won't we! She yelled.

Obi was finally able to scramble across the bed and grab Dami in a bear hug

Obi: I agree. I tried to keep you for myself. It was selfish of me but it is what guys do!!!! That was before Joy. I'M SORRY!! I LOVE HER...A...A..AND SHE'S PREGNANT!

With that, all the fight went out of Dami. Her shoulder sagged and she couldn't even deal any more. He didn't stutter, so there was no point asking him to repeat what his said to drive a fresh stake into the one already in her heart. She had been there, waiting and waiting for it to be her turn and she just could not do it any more. Not with this new piece of information, not with what he had revealed about his selfishness. She. was. done. 

Her voice, when she spoke, came out as barely a whisper; weak and tired, and it was just two words

Dami: get out

Obi knew there was no point trying to explain why they shouldn't end things this way and why they should stay in each other's lives. It was no good. Dami was DONE!  He had never seen her so downcast and so over life. All he wanted to do was beat the crap out of whoever did this to her...unfortunately the person was him! As he turned to leave the room and invariably, her life, he hoped she wouldn't do anything drastic. Her sobs rang out when he got to her living room, faltering his steps, but there was no turning back. A thought crept into his head we are back to SS3 again...when she hated my guts.

8 months later

It's a beautiful day to get married...Dami thought as she made her way down to the church. She smiled when she was spotted by friends who hadn't seen her since she moved from NY who came to hug her and catch up.  

A lot had happened in 8 months.

After the debacle at her apartment, she decided enough was enough. She had subconsciously crafted her life around Obi. No more. 

She cut off all contact; Facebook, bbm, viber, instagram, it, it was cut off!  She put in for a transfer to the Salt Lake City branch of GS...that was far enough to get away and set about picking up the pieces of her shattered dreams. 

Her invitation to the wedding had come through Jare, who Dami had made swear on the pain of physical bodily harm, not to give her info to Obi...NO MATTER WHAT! Jare wondered what happened but it wasn't up for discussion. She figured Obi wasn't giving it up and neither was she.

She wasn't going to go, but Jacques, her new boyfriend, rationalised that since she didn't want anyone getting into her personal business, her absence would be conspicuous. 

So here she was...on a sunny Saturday afternoon...attending Obi's wedding...who wouda thunk it?...she mused. Jacques was in tow...he made her come so he might as well suffer through it with her.

She gave Obi and Joy a wave and a smile and focused on getting out of there quickly. Obi returned the smile with a genuine one of his own, which slowly fizzled out as his eyes veered from Jacques to her and back to Jacques, quizzically. Joy's smile was a bit cold and smug. You won, heifer. Enjoy the spoils. Dami thought. Cheers to the Bride and Groom


Where did Dami find this white joker??? Obi thought to himself as he tried to follow the Pastor's sermon. 

First off, he was glad she glad...but why did she bring some white dude to his wedding????

But she's looking hella fine though! He smiled inwardly. His eyes flitted to Joy who looked stunning a month after the birth of their daughter. She looked beautiful but Dami ethereal beauty was clouding his mind. 

Had he made the biggest mistake of his life choosing Joy over Dami? 

He missed her in ways he couldn't explain and in ways Joy could not compensate for. Her absence for eight months had taken the joy out of pun intended. Her sudden resurgence had brightened everything! 

He didn't think she would come even though Jare had said she would try to get her promises though.

Now, all he wanted to do was rush to her and hold her in his arms...but there was this pesky wedding and that dude giggling at something she said in a way that made Obi want to punch his lights out.

Oh crap!!!!!...Obi thought in alarm... I'm in love with Dami!!!!! 

The End!!!!!!

Thanks to NO whose story inspired some parts of the conclusion of this piece. I was musing on how to end it when she told me her own marriage pact story that had me oohhhiiinnggg and ahhhinggg. Thanks girl!!!

© 2014 All rights reserved. No portion of this shall be printed and reproduced without my express permission.


  1. Noooooooo pls Obi has to be kidding..what kind of last minute realisation was that. abeg abeg abeg and they say girls have was a good thing Dami went for the wedding. she's obviously over Obi.

  2. Na wa o! I'm glad he found out that he made the wrong decision. I can so relate with Dami.These time wasters! They lead you on, send your prospects away and leave you eventually for someone else. There has to be a special reward from heaven for such men! Good job girl! Your writing style is fantastic....

  3. Hmmm. So I think almost every girl has been a Damy at one point. It probably wasn't exactly a marriage pact. Perhaps it was calling you Mrs X, making you his confidant, his family treating you like you're the wife already, or the consistent phone calls and visits. Maybe there should be an opinion poll for the men. Why do they string other ladies along. I call it gambling and I think it's highly unfair. Then again, I was a Damy at some point, and looking back I think God saved me from who I thought was the man for me.

  4. All protocols duly observed...ori Dami and Obi o jo pe po!!! But moreso, ori Obi!
    LOOL...Can you tell that I am angry?! Mchewww..stupid boy and girl!

  5. Lmaoooo@HD. Ori Obi ni ko pe jor! American fucking shit like him! (excuse my french)

  6. Loooooool what tha hell? What just happened? Are these children stupid or what? They are both stupid, from Dami to Obi and back to Dami again. Nice one Che!

  7. First things first, sex doesn't make a guy stay, and we ladies need to learn this. Second, words are powerful. We need to guard our hearts against words that take root, and then later shape our decisions destiny. Both of them are to blame.

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  9. I have tried to comment twice and it just keeps disappearing. Thanks Cherrywine for the concluding part, I love it. It kind of reminds me of Avery and April in Greys Anatomy

  10. This is why I don't believe guys and girls can be besties. Who r we kidding? I wouldn't even date a guy that has a female bestie. Que est que foshi? I've been a Dami and like Gemtots said thank God for saving me from myself!

  11. For some reason, I thought you were about to say Obi was dreaming...I would have yelled! But seriously though, they both need help. They should have just dated from the start. Thanks Cherry! Twas a good read!

  12. I'm not sure I like the way things ended but hey, some tough decisions are just necessary. Matters of the heart sha, God give us wisdom n strength to speak out when we need to. It's still paining me gaan...what a waste to what would have been a beautiful relationship. Very good read.

  13. True. I'm not sure I liked the end either. But it's not as if I could think of an ending I would've preferred. Can't sympathise with either of them sha. Stupid girl and stupider boy.
    I like a lot of your stories sha. :-)


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