Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Think Like A Man Review: Kris & Jeremy

image courtesy google images
*excuse any grammatical errors. It was due to hasty typing and posting to avoid detection. lol*


Choking on the dust and cobwebs all over this blog!!!!!


Hello my darlings! Miss me??? If una no miss me, well I missed you sha. First of all, WELCOME to first timers and new followers. I love y'all like a fat kid loves cake. Thanks for following.

So sorry for my long absence. I have entered one chance with my new employment o. If you live in Lagos, you know that mainland to island and vice versa commute is of the devil! Early starts, late finishes, just dying for my bed and barely human at the end of the day. Weekends nko, Cherrywine? Pipo, I have homework from horfeez!!! Homework!!! Na so-so presentation! I tire biko. Oh, and I go to loads of weddings too (@ilola can testify) lol. I have plenty gist for you and I will behave better in the New Year; God keeping us all. I hope to have adjusted properly by then.

Anyways, where were we?

Yes, Think Like a Man review.

 The review continues. We are looking at Kris and Jeremy next. The characters were played by Gabrielle Union and Jerry Ferrara. I figured I should review this couple next cos well...they were my least favorite cos she was a bit too passive-aggrsssive for my liking, but we all do what we must in this relationship battle field o jare.

Kris and Jeremy.....you know...been together for donkey years but cannot seem to seal the deal. She does everything she believes he will like that will endear him to her enough to get him to put a ring on it. She watches Lord of the Rings, knows the difference between world of warcraft and mortal kombat and is in her own words “one of the boys but with a vagina”.

Lord knows I know girls like this…most of them sef, minus the commitment. They are a boy’s mummy, his sister, his whore, his pastor, his bank, his police…and 3 months later, you hear the relationship is done. I also know the ones that are exactly the same as Kris; long term relationship headed nowhere. Countless abortions later, the man bounces to a vagina that has not been visited by an abortionist. Just keeping it real, for all those offended by the word “abortion”.

So they’ve also seen this movie and are now waiting to put the teaching therein to good use. “If Kris can get the ring after 9 years, why can’t I?”  Valid question my dear. In examining Kris and why the book worked for her, we must come to the realization Kris came to.
Kris realized that she had crossed the threshold from being something special to being something he could take for granted. The simple truth is men are lazy buggers. They find something they like and they get comfortable. Jeremy got comfortable. If a man is not comfortable, he gets agitated and wants to move on. Men should be made to be comfortable, don’t get me wrong. A guy (and a girl) should be comfortable in the relationship. But there’s a fine line between comfortable and too comfortable.

Comfortable: he can bring you around his boys and you get IT; the jokes, the teasing, you’re not awkward and you can hang with the boys. So every other week you guys do that.

Too comfortable: you spend Valentine’s Day playing video games, ALL DAY, with him and the boys.
That actually happened in the movie.

How do you spend the one night set aside for you to romance, wine and dine your special person with your friends that you see every day? The special had gone out of the equation and he had begun taking her for granted.
You need to search within yourself and gauge where you’re at in your relationship. Are you guys at “comfortable” or “too comfortable”? A honest assessment is the only option as lying to yourself at this point is not useful to you at all.

When Kris ascertained that she was being taken advantage of, she didn’t stomp off in a fit. She handled her business. She realized a relationship was a two man business. Pandering to Jeremy’s every whim and letting him have his way was not the way to go. What did she do? She withdrew the excessive comfort. He was no longer allowed to live his “I’m only as old as I feel” fantasy. She did up the house and started hinting about him getting a better job for “their” future.  Again, a 90 minutes movie. It takes more than doing up a house and forcing job applications down a man’s throat to get a commitment-phobe to sign up.  Your situation might not even be that.  So we move on to her next line of action.

When Kris did all she could to get him to stand up and be counted and he still refused, SHE LEFT!  Read all the books you want, watch all the movies you can find, listen to all the tapes you can buy but if you don’t know when to call it a day, you’ve just wasted money and valuable man hours. Nigerian women are so afraid of walking away that they put up with all sorts of jazz. I’m not talking about a marriage now, I’m talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend situation.  Some women have had a ring since 2001 and no further commitment since then. Anytime you try to raise the topic, you’re reminded that he’s ‘ringed’ you. A ring is not THE commitment. It is an evidence of THE commitment. If you’ve had the ring for so long and the commitment is not forthcoming for any good reason, all you have is jewelry.

Kris knew when the fat lady sang. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Like I said in the last post, knowing your worth empowers you to walk away. If you’re THE girl (and men know when they’ve met THE girl) he will break down doors to get you back. You can’t force a person to marry you by just being there and being a part of the furniture.
Stop spoiling these men!!!
Men like interesting women. Have you wondered why a bitchy ass girl you know has made it to the altar and you are still ‘hoping’ your boyfriend will propose even though people can write glowing recommendations about how sweet you are? It is because that bitchy ass chick did not take any mess from her man. Am I asking you to change your character? No. Am I asking you to grow some lady balls? YES!  Sweetness is great…but in appropriate doses.

Have you heard the saying only a mad person does things the same way and expects a different result? Well, apply that in your life. If you’re really just sweet and you’ve done everything for him and he still can’t bring himself to commit to you, then he’s not the one. Someone else will come around. I have a cousin, she is the sweetest person on earth, she was dating this prized bastard and she just put up with all his excesses. Eventually, she advised herself and left. She remained sweet. Met a man who just couldn’t get over how sweet she was. He proposed within months and they got married. Prized bastard too met a girl and got married a month after my cousin. They were never meant to be but she put up with him and hoped for the best.  Walking away was the best thing she ever did for herself.

Walking away was the best thing Kris ever did for herself as well. She didn’t meet a new man. But walking away from a relationship of 9 years was such a bold and ballsy move, it jolted Jeremy out of his waking slumber. He realized he had a good thing all along and without any prodding from anyone, he got his act together and did what she wanted from him all along.

My conclusion is this; by all means, read the book and watch the movie. But if you’re not honest enough with yourself to look at where you may have gone wrong in your relationship, you just wasted 90 minutes of your life. All the book did for Kris was force her to take a hard look at her life. If you’re a ‘Kris” that’s what the movie hoped to achieve for you too and if you missed that, you missed the entire point. 


7 comments:

  1. *huge hug*
    oh, how I've missed you.
    I really must watch this movie o
    very nice points btw

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  2. Gawd, i love this geh. You keep hitting it ;) Now try not to take an eternity for the next one y'hear?

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  3. I want to watch the movie more and more, LOL...love how you break it down!

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  4. on point! woulda said "worth the wait" but this wait long die.

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  5. @ Luciano: I missed you back *hugs* Go and watch the movie!
    @Toinlicious: Thanks love. I will behave better. I promise. Lol.
    @Myne: Thanks ma'am!
    @anon: I know *shamefaced*

    Thanks for reading and for the comments.

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  6. Welcome back to the word of blogsville.

    I should watch the movie, good review.

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  7. I just love how you breakdown these issues succinctly and with real life examples.
    Missed you dear. as much as i have missed myself sef. lol.

    Happy New Year and when are we starting that talk show series?

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