Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy Married Life!

I would like to dedicate this to my cousin and her husband; the newest couple in town (at least in my world) Mr & Mrs E. May the good Lord bless your union IJN. Love you guys.
image courtesy
So from my dedication, you can tell that I've just been to a wedding. I love weddings. I have soooo much fun at weddings particularly family weddings. I'm always looking good and acting bad ;) Anyways, today was no exception. The wedding was amazing; the bride was stunning, the groom was dashing, the venue was gorgeous and the cake was scrumptious. At the wedding I remembered something Katherine Heigel's character in 27 Dresses said about her favorite part of a wedding ceremony. She said she likes to look at the groom when the bride is walking down the aisle. That the look on the groom's face says it all. I assumed she meant that at that precise moment, the man looks ready to lay down his life, his all for the woman he has chosen to marry. Hmmmmm..........

Well, I also have a favorite part in weddings. To be honest, of all the weddings I have attended and been a part of, I've never taken the time to assess the look on any of the grooms' faces when they see their brides walking down the aisle. If I've ever noticed anything, it is probably relief etched over their faces (I have this notion that brides and grooms are definite flight risks the day before their weddings and that at least 2 weeks before the wedding, brides and grooms should surrender their passports, licences, cars and car keys or any other instrument that may facilitate 'flight' to the coffers of the church, mosque, court etc where their services will be handled, to be handed back to them upon the mutual uttering of  'I do' but, I digress......)

My favorite part of weddings is the reception ( and not for the food, you judgemental harpys. Ok...maybe a little bit for the food) I love it when the couple are dancing in and everyone is cheering. What I've noticed a lot is that the Groom is always over-enthusiastically throwing shapes on the dancefloor and would most often not want to leave the dancefloor despite pleas from his tired missus. Now could this be that as per naija style, the groom doesn't want to miss the 'spraying'? Maybe. Or could it be that he just loves to dance? Maybe too. But I don't see how these could be the main reasons. If the couple accidentally set their feet down from their 'high chairs/table', they will be bombarded with well-wishers practically begging them to let them (the well-wishers) spray them. So the money factor, though reasonable, is not the only reason.
The music the couple dance in to is mostly; let's face it, SHIT! It is usually some band that remixes well known songs to oblivion and you're wondering what the hell they are doing singing THEIR own remix off key. So it is definitely not because the Groom is so eclectic, he appreciates their brand of music.

Here's what I think: in addition to the energetic dancing, I always see massive, bright and gorgeous smiles on the faces of the Grooms. My cousin's brand new husband; a normally mild mannered young man, danced like a crazed man practically through out the entire reception and was dragging his tired wife along with him. The Grooms have sooooo much energy and bound about like over excited puppies and they're smiling, laughing and generally enjoying their day. Another cousin told me that during her reception, she didn't recognise the over excited  babarian in front of her trying to disguise himself as her husband. I think they're doing a joyful jig...a sort of "gotcha now" thing. A victory dance if you will and it is always very cute.
I have tried to reconcile the happiness I see on these Grooms faces to my single male friends' natter about marriage being the last legal form of slavery (of which I don't know what they're complaining about really: pussy on tap at any time of the day or night, hot, home cooked meals, a clean house always.....oh! such hardship!! Boo hooo!) They talk about no guy willingly going into marriage and how it is us women that pressure them into it. But a picture, they say is worth a thousand words and I've never seen a reluctant groom ( or maybe I just don't go to those kind of weddings for which I'm thankful) They're ever so willing to be at the ceremony, to be with their women and to be getting married. It appears these men WANT to get married! Shocker!
They are not to be pitied by the head scratching idiots that bandy around phrases like "I pity pussy for the rest of his life" etc but rather are to be admired and envied. They have found their soul mates who will be their wives, the mothers of their children, their lovers, their bestfriends, their mothers, their girlfriends and their companions for the rest of time. My parents have been married for almost 28 years and sometimes, I catch my father looking at my mother like she's still his 18 year old girlfriend. They gossip about everything under the sun ( sometimes to my disgust, particularly if it is about me) You can't trade that companionship for anything in the world. I believe these grooms realize this and that's why they are always so happy to begin this journey. And I totally take my hat off to them for taking such a bold step and I wish them the best in everything.

Final thots: the Bible says "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing" so all you old ass, grand pa "playas" sort yourselves out and do something about the sorry state of your sorry selves. I'm come find me. Marriage is tough and it requires work but we humans weren't designed to be alone. So find a girl and do it quickly. Good women are languishing int the valley of singledom. Weddings are extremely beautiful and spiritual things and I look forward to my own with the anticipation a 5 year old has on christmas day.

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