'Tis The Season : Top Five Pressies for Them- Parents/In-Laws

Christmas is coming, mama buy shoe for me! Christmas is coming, mama buy shoe for me!!

Hey y'all, I thought I'd hit you with a bit of a throwback right there. Don't lie, you were singing along. You know you know that little ditty. Stop forming!

Anyways, compliments of the season all. Welcome to December.

This year, I am feeling ZERO Christmas cheer. It is a testament to our indomitable spirit as a nation that we have not cancelled Christmas and December all together sef. But we move! Great thing about December for me is I will be starting my annual leave in a few days. I need to rest. I feel physically and emotionally drained.

This post is taking a turn for the dark, isn't it? Come into the light people! Follow the red bows and Christmas decorations into the light!!!!

Yes, I will be starting my leave. And as 'owu' is blowing guys, I will not be going to 'overs' during this leave (but in-case you are feeling led to bless me with a return ticket, don't grieve the Spirit.) Anyways, I will be going to Uyo with my girl YO in the New Year, as per make e no lost completely. Vacation is vacation fa. So I may have some tales live from the Le Meridian in Ibom. I'll keep you posted.  

There is no gainsaying the fact that I loveeeeeee Christmas. So though I'm not feeling cheery right now, it's still one of my favourite times of the year (right next to my birthday, which I don't know why the National Assembly is delaying on declaring a public holiday...but I rise!) The one thing I love about Christmas is gift-giving. I love to give gifts. I really do. Funnily, its one of the things I really miss in my singu to stupor state. But I digress. I'm great at gift giving. I really am (beep...beep...toot...toot...that's the sound of me tooting my own horn) and I take my gift giving seriously as you'll see below.

 I established that a lot of folks really are at a loss for what to give people for presents. Last year, I did a post on my top five gifts for him and her (you can check that out as a quick refresher for bae's gift). This year however, I thought I'd help with the big one: what to get for your parents or your parents-in-law. This is the big one. I know I rack my brain on what to get my folks all the time. But not every time lace, guinea, perfume, turke...actually, give them the turkey abeg, what is Christmas stew without turkey? But put your back into the gift giving, famalam! Cammannnn!!! So, what do you get for people that supposedly have everything/are hard to please/you just don't know that well? Fear not, Cherrywine to rescue just in time for Christmas shopping.

I must issue a disclaimer at this point: this post infers that you have a set of parents and/or in-laws because it works out cheaper for folks with a set of parents and/or in-laws to give them gifts as a unit on the "what God has joined together" technicality. If your parents and/or in-laws are separated, you'll just get two of the same things, it doesn't work out cheaper for you of course, but hey, life's a douche or don't get anything for the least favoured parent - but don't let the devil use me to use you. Problem solved. If you've lost a parent and/or in-law, my deepest condolences. You can also still find something to gift your surviving parent and/or in-law from this list.

I think I've covered all bases. So let's get into it.

1. Family Portrait

http://www.historyextra.com/family

You, by yourself, standing in a picture except you are graduating, doing freedom or receiving an award, does not make sense as a gift. Don't make your parents slit their wrists corporately! It's Christmas time for goodness sakes!

I kid! I kid!!

So yes, this is a good present to gift your folks/in-laws if you are married, preferably with children. You can do this in a number of ways: gather yourself, all your siblings and their kids together with your folks/in-laws or gather all the grand kids together with the grandparents, or the grand kids only or a picture of your nuclear family. You can do this however you like; going by what is most convenient and affordable for you. It's something nice for them to adorn their walls with and show off with in that parental "we are not showing off but we are showing off" way. Of course, this is fraught with some pitfalls: your kids could be massively uncooperative, making this a headache for all involved, your in-laws may hate you so much, they don't want your face on their wall for all eternity and will toss your picture in the store for rats to piss on or something. I don't know. Listen, I'm not a soothsayer, I just recommend the pressies, y'all deal with your family issues. If you can keep them bad ass chi'renz in line and you are passably liked by your in-laws, go for this.

If as a single person, you insist on wanting to gift your parents this present because it sounds like a good idea or you've gifted them the other things on this list or you are a confirmed bachelor/bachelorette and you want them to deal with it or for any other reason(s) whatsoever, though I wouldn't advise it, you can do this in a number of ways too. You can do the 'through the looking glass' montage as a gift - baby pictures, through the years, to adulthood. This will guilt them into celebrating the fact that bad as e bad, at least you are alive. (Don't expect it to take pride of place in the living room sha, that would just be plain stewpid!) You can also do a then and now picture of you and your siblings. There are endless possibilities with this gift and it gives the impression that you applied some industry in coming up with it. I really can't guess-timate the cost of this endeavour because it would depend on whether you want this professionally done or you want to D.I.Y. it. It could cost any where between zero Naira and 100k or more. You're welcome.

2. Air Fryer

As our parents get on in years and with the fear-mongering in the media these days, they, like everyone else have become more health conscious. Most of them now eat cardboard a.k.a wheat bread, use honey instead of sugar, drink 2 drums of water in the morning to cleanse their kidneys or whatever, use lo-salt or no salt, eat egg whites instead of h-egg (my dad asked me do this once. I just looked at him and said "do you want egg or you don't want egg? Egg white is not egg!") . It goes on and on and on. Some still like to eat fried foods and worry about the impact of fatty foods on their health. Well, you can ease some of their worry by gifting them an air fryer for Christmas.

According to this *DailyMail post; the airfryer works by

"...using a grill and fan to blast superheated air around food at high speeds, cooking it from all sides. This achieves what scientists call the Maillard effect, the browning and crisping process seen when food is fried, roasted, toasted or baked.As well as being able to cook burgers, chips, frozen chicken nuggets and steak, latest models come with a baking tray insert allowing users to bake other items such as quiches, brownies and bread" 

The Airfryer requires very little oil to cook food and I think it'll ultimately be better than dunking  the food in a vat of oil. I've looked up some youtube reviews because I was thinking of gifting this to my parents and I've seen people fry chips, chicken, plantain etc with the stuff. I also saw someone cooking fried rice with it. That's a bit much for me but to each his own.

Most of your kitchen appliance makers have their brand of airfryers and at last check, the airfryer retails between N17,000.00 and N50,000.00 on Konga.

3. His & Hers FitBits or whatever activity tracker of your choosing

Still on health consciousness.  Are your parents like mine? Have you been asked to sign them up to instagram and twitter? Do they like technology and want to get involved with whatever is the rage and show off to their friends that they are in the know?   If so, the fitbit or whatever activity tracker of your choosing, might be a great gift. I am not a techie so I don't have reasoned arguments for what the best activity trackers are or what the bugs that need to be fixed are or whatever. I just like the style of the fitbit and I am a semi-satisfied customer (it doesn't track underwater activity so I'm not 100% happy with it. I probably need to get the Speedo Shine...ahem...hint...hint...cough...cough...).  I think an activity tracker will make your folks more active. They get to monitor their progress and can compete with themselves or their friends that have activity trackers. They can set goals, count steps, monitor water intake and calories burned, track their sleep etc.   I like that it combines technology with fitness and it'll probably be what your parents like about it too.

If you think the trackers are too plain, you can give them some pizazz with smart jewellery. Tory Burch and Swarovski now carry a line of smart jewellery collection for the Fitbit Flex and the Misfit Shine, respectively. Can you say "have a blinging Christmas?" This is sort of a two in one gift suggestion because if your parents have a suitable activity tracker, all you need do is gift them a smart jewellery to go with it. See?  

The Fitbit or whatever activity tracker of your choosing will set you back anywhere between N21,500.00 and N85,000.00, excluding delivery on Konga. If you want to get the added bling, the Tory Burch collection goes for anything between N10,500.00 and N52,500.00 while the Swarovski offering which could come in wrist-wear or necklace format goes for between N34,000.00 and N50,000.00 respectively. Happy holidays indeed!

4. Mini City Breaks

Green Legacy Resort, Abeokuta
http://greenlegacyresort.com/

My parents love to travel. It is a passion we all inherited from them. My parents went on vacation on our dime once and they remarked that it was the best vacation they ever had because their children paid for it. So that's where I got the expo that parents like to chillax on their children's dime. They will rave about it for years to come. It's how they are wired. If you can afford to pay for your parents/in-laws to enjoy a trip outside the country, by all means go for it. This post is geared towards those that are balling on a budget. Your parents will be happy to go off somewhere, potter about, relax and have someone else wait on them(so in some ways it is a present for you...they go on break, you go on a break; win-win) . There's a lot of beauty in Nigeria and neighbouring regions that we close our eyes to. Africa is populated with a number of wonderful resorts. In the picture above, we have Green Legacy Resort. My sister, cousins and I took a day trip here last Christmas. There is a fair bit to do and we did most of it in a day. It's a pretty small resort but there's a man made lake, there's a mini mountain to climb, apparently, there's a mini cinema and if you're lucky and interested, you could run into the owner; General Olusegun Obasanjo, former president of Nigeria and one time military head of state. The Resort has a museum that was yet to be unveiled at the time we went, that houses items of sentimental value to the man, including his first ever car, I was told. It was pretty serene and I won't mind going back there with a beau. I'm a home-town girl, so I'm pretty proud of this little slice of paradise in my home-town. Enough free advert for Abeokuta. These resorts dot the entire landscape of Nigeria. It would be a nice way to know parts of the country, have a change of scenery and it'll be something they can enjoy, just the two of them.

As of today, Jovago is reporting that the prices for the rooms at the Green Legacy resort start from N30,000.00. You can do your research and look for similar places. They'll be glad you did.   

5. Hand Made Hampers

This right here, is MY go-to gift. I gift hampers for EVERYTHING! To me, it is the gift for every season. Valentine. Thank you. Get well soon. It's a boy! It's girl! Sorry you're leaving. Sorry I'm leaving. House warming. Ramadan.  Name it, I gift you a hamper. Matter of fact, I gift hampers so much, I had a stack of boxes made that I use for packing my hampers. Is that weird?

December is typically the season for hampers. Note that when I say 'hampers', I use the term ironically and very loosely. Your parents/in-laws don't need extra cardboard for anything. Also, this is not a concentration camp, so no one wants your nasty Nasco cornflakes and cabin biscuit (actually I will low key eat the cabin biscuit sha) Like I said, I pack my hampers myself. I like the personal touch. I like to think that it shows people that you put some thought and industry into the gift giving process because you thought of the things they may like and took care to select the items in it. A hamper could be whatever you want it to be. This is the best thing about hampers. It could be everything AND the kitchen sink. It just depends on how generous you want to be. It could be specific; a hamper of of teas, fruits, wines, foods, bath items or it could be a mixed bag.

If you're asking for my opinion on what I would pack in a hamper, I'd typically do a couple of flavoured teas, some nuts; pistachio and/or almonds, a fruit selection; dried and/or fresh, candle(s), a bottle of wine/preferred liquor, sugar-free biscuits. If I'm feeling really generous, an actual present in the hamper is always a nice touch: maybe tickets to see a play during the festive season or a pair of cuff-links for him and a brooch for her.

I have my boxes custom-made but you can buy gift boxes from any gift shop or visit weavers to make a basket. I like to use small to mid-size boxes or baskets; they gives an illusion of a volume. Depending on what you want to include in your hamper, you can spend between N5,000.00 to N50,000.00.

When all else fails or you are stuck with your gift giving, I have included a bonus gift in the line up:

GOANMARRY!!!!!!!

https://goanimate.com/

You can literally feel me clapping on your head, abi? Way to remove the speck in your eye, while looking through the iroko tree in mine. It is well with the righteous and their friends. Sigh! Anyway, still I rise!

Yes, goanmarry!!!!! (You basically can't say it without the exclamation mark) it is the ONLY thing your parents want for Christmas...for now. In the coming years, they will want grandchildren too. Don't think you can get away with 'borning' one. They will tell you how the children's children that are meant to surround their table is just the one and how you don't read your bible because you are meant to be fruitful and multiply. You are meant to have a whole basket of fruits not one guava.
Here I go off on a tangent again. 

So...yeah...goanmarry!!!!!!

Imagine how delighted your parents will be on boxing day, when you keep handing them things with your left hand and just when they are about to kill you for not being married and then being rude on top, they notice a shiny metal on your ring finger and then you make your announcement. Doesn't it sound like the best Christmas gift ever?
I've given this waaaaaaayyyyy too much thought, abi? Oh well. Anyways yes, an engagement announcement, single folks, would be the best Christmas gift for your parents/potential in-laws.

These are my top five (well...six). I hope they help or inspire you in some way. Please comment with your gift suggestions.  Let's help some hapless gift givers out this season. Have a Merry Christmas my cheries and happy gift giving! 

*I'd read the entire Daily Mail post just for some perspective on the watchdog's review of the advert for the Phillips brand Airfryer.

Disclaimer: I am not a brand ambassador for Konga, FitBit, Green Legacy Resort or any other brand mentioned in this post (I wish I was though...hello free stuff! Loool) I just needed price and reference points for the posts and went with what was handy. You could tell them I gave them a plug though, if you know anyone who works there, maybe it'll get me that one step closer to repping them. Tainz!