Tuesday, July 26, 2011

DAY 13: MY BODY AND HOW COMFORTABLE I AM WITH IT

This is a serious one o. My body…..let me start by describing myself. I’m really small,I'm what is described as petite. I’m 5’1 and I weigh about 54-56 kg. I have what has been described by many as ‘big boobs’ , I DO NOT have a flat stomach, I have a fairly average bum and what has been described as ‘long legs for such a short girl’ lol. I stopped growing at 13…..poor me. From 13 till about 17, I absolutely HATED my body. I wanted to be taller, I wanted to have skinny, skinny, skinny waist like that of a monkey, you know, the one you could wrap two palms of the hand around. Most of all, I wanted a giant butt that one of my favorite comics, Somore said you could place a drink on and I wouldn’t notice. I wanted a big ol’ ass. I had friends with amazing bodies and I didn’t understand why my baby fat left my body and took up residence in my stomach and why all the fat that was meant to be shared equally between my breasts and my ass was greedily hoarded by my ass. I’m ashamed to say I spent a lot of time crying about my hideous body and comparing it to my svelte sister’s body. I did all I could to get the body I wanted . I did sit ups, I drank lots of water, I even developed a liking for beans cos old wives’ tales tells us that beans helps you grow taller. I learnt the art of ‘sucking and breathing’ sucking in my belly and still managing to breath and not look uncomfortable. The fashion of the day demanded that you had a flat tummy. I so desperately wanted to wear crop tops like my friends. So I learnt to suck and breathe.
But with maturity comes revelation. These days, I LOVE my body. I think I’m kinda hawt, if I may say so myself. I may not have a flat tummy, but having learnt to suck and breathe all these years, that’s not a problem. Sometimes, I forget to suck. If it bothers you that I don’t have a flat tummy, look elsewhere. With the advent of Dr. 90210, I’ve learnt to be appreciative of my ‘big boobs’ which God gave me entirely for free. I’ve grown into myself. And all those years of agony were character building. I’ve learnt to accentuate the positive and work with the negative. I now know that NOBODY is perfect. If celebrities can have cellulites, what on earth am I crying about? The little negatives are not flaws, they are unique identifying marks. I’m not the most gorgeous girl in the world, but I’m hella cute. I’m under no illusions as to how I look. I am happier now for accepting the things I cannot change and learning to cope with them. I think our bodies are God’s way of showing us how to handle the problems of life; they can’t be perfect but they are what we’ve got and we have to learn to deal with them. I’m grateful for how I look. When I get compliments on my looks, I thank God because I have been ungrateful in the past not realizing that some people would be short rather than disabled, would like a big, problem free tummy, instead of a flat one with cancer. We should be grateful for what we have and now, I think my body totally rocks and I defy you to tell me otherwise!

4 comments:

  1. Deep deep deep!...What? You are 54-56kg?!!!! Kai, I am balancing very very well on 80 and I still ask myself weach time I peek at the scale where all the weight is. I cant be bothered.


    HoneyDame
    honeydame1.blogspot.com

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  2. Your body totally rocks, lol. We need to appreciate ourselves o

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  3. I love this post. Posts about learning to love your body always get to me. Its taken me 20 long years to accept my lepa shandy body. Every one tells me It's wonderful but as long as you the owner think Beyonce's curves are it, it will not matter to you.
    I have learnt to love what I have and its imperfections in my mind's eye. God did not make a mistake :)

    Ginger

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  4. Haha, couldn't have guessed that you are 5'1". And for weight, damn you are def petite. Making me feel like a sky scrapper.
    I thank God I grew up at the stage where internet usage wasn't so widespread, and where body shaming wasn't a widespread, compared to today.
    Cos I read papers, and see how much pressure is being put on people, from as low as pre-adolescent kids.
    Glad you did overcome the body-hate, and learnt to love yourself. That's a good thing
    I'm learning that *looks at up my up & coming belly* Yeah.lol

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