Sunday, April 3, 2011

Happy Mother's Day Mummy

Source: Google

Today is Mothering Sunday. I read up on the history of mothers' day and why we celebrate it and it was indeed a fascinating read. If you're interested, check out

Mother's day for me, is a time of reflection and appreciation of my mother and her hustle. I wrote a post earlier about the disciplinarian side of my mother. But today is one of those days when I don't compartmentalize my mother, but take her as a whole. I've mentioned before on this blog that I'm the first child and because of this, a lot was and still is expected of me. In the past, I grumbled about this heavy and unwanted burden and I rebelled against it (mind you, my rebelling involved wearing black nail polish and toe rings and sitting alone in my room and silly things of that nature. None of that crazy stuff like running away from home. I dey look face now!)
As I grew older, it dawned on me that my mother wasn't cruel, vile or evil. Neither was she the great witholder of access to fun, she was just a mum. She wanted her children to love God, love each other, be successful and be independent. Period. When I was growing up, I had to be in the house by 7pm and by 6pm on Wednesdays and Sundays cos I had to make dinner for the family and on wednesdays and sundays, we ate beans, so it had to be on earlier. I absolutely hated her for this, cos it meant I couldn't go to parties etc. But when I grew older and I left home, I was so impossibly disciplined that I scared people. The things I was taught by my mum came in handy in those years I wasn't under her roof. She would come to visit and people would say to her how I was so well mannered and hardworking. It made both of us laugh cos no one saw how hard I kicked against learning all the things that now bring me praise.

It also dawned on me that as her first child, she was just trying to do right by me. She was just finding her way. It was just as new to her as it was to me. My mum is also a first child and she has one sister. As a first child, I like to joke that my siblings are the first set of kids I have. But it is a whole different ball game when you have your own kids. No matter the level of authority you exert over your siblings, they are not your children. The responsibility that comes with raising a child is out of this world. Children pose a new and unique set of challenges. You're charged with shaping them, worrying over them, raising them, instilling discipline in them, generally ensuring that they are on the right track. Anything they do has a bearing on you. If my sister got pregnant at 14, it would not really be my problem. No doubt I will be mad at her for putting herself in that situation, but that's it. If my daughter got pregnant at 14, I would be blamed for not raising her right.

Being a mum is not an easy task. You have to put in the work to reap the rewards. It is a task that takes at least 18 years of your life on each child you choose to have. Even at that, a Mother's work is never done. As old as I am, my mum still worries about me. When I see some mums who are just lackadaisical about their children and their welfare, I just thank God for mine. My mum says children are a trust that God gives to you as parents and they form a major part of the things you will answer to him for. This is the truth. My mother did not leave us alone to be raised by the tv or strangers. She worked but she had the time to raise us. For that we are extremely grateful.

Anyways, I now appreciate my mum a lot and see her in a different light. She wasn't trying to ruin my life, she was trying to ensure I had a good one. I am nothing without my mum's incessant prayers and her relentless efforts to make the best out of me, be it by smacking or speaking to me. My siblings got a slightly less full on mum cos my parents philosophy to raising kids (which they're happy to share with anyone) is: get the fist one right, and the others will fall in place. Not because you stop raising them, it just becomes easier.

So on this Mother's day, mummy, I want to say thank you for everything you've done. You are a great woman, the embodiment of all I want to be when the time is right. A woman who would spare nothing to see her children achieve greatness. A virtuous woman, a praying woman. The glue that holds our family together. You deserve all the rewards you're reaping now and more. You will live to see us exceed the greatness you had planned for us. You will live long to reap the fruits of your labour on each and everyone of us. We love you so much. And on this day set aside to specifically celebrate mothers, I celebrate you. Thank you for everything ma.

Final thots: on this mothers day, I'm sending a lot of love to my friends that are mothers and expecting mothers. You've lived with your mums and the time has come for you to be mums too. You will all be extremely successful in this venture in Jesus' name. Your children will be for signs and wonders and the grace and love of God will be with you all.
If you happen to read this post, give your mothers a big squeeze and just tell them how much you love and appreciate them. As Africans, we assume that people should know these things but we don't go out of our way to say them. Make an exception for today. And whatever rift exists between you and your mum, today is the day to set it aside because if not for anything, she gave you life. Mums are special beacuse apart from the love of God, the love of a mother is the next most unconditional love out there.

1 comment:

  1. Nicely written Ms Cherrry.I bet somday your kids will be saying soooo many amazin things about you cuz you'll make not just an amazin wife but a gr8 mum aswell.keep up d good work babes. Chucky


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