|image courtesy https://www.makassaronline.blogspot.com|
So I'm a christian girl but I also like to do the sexual things. The topic of this blog has been done time and time again..... "oh.... religion is holding me back" "I'm so repressed cos of religion" So, though it's been done before, here's my take on it.
I love God but I also love cock! There!!! I said it!!!!!. I mean, I now understand the whole don't have sex before marriage edict in the bible cos it was probably tried and tested in those days as it is now that once you pop, you can't stop (in the immortal words of the pringles commercial)
The thing with sex is, the minute you start having it, good or bad you must continue.
If it is good sex; you can't get that damn monkey off your back! You have to keep getting the good-good. You will take any form of abuse just to get that clever little finger making a tortously slow journey around your clit and its environs; that amazing, talented, mouth eating the cum right out of your soaked pussy, hard, thick, cock working your body right and all the other things in between. You want a terrible boyfriend back cos he was an undeniable "Pussy Jeddi Master" (at least that's where I'm at right now.)
If it is bad sex: and if you're like me, an avid reader, you keep hitting the various cocks in the hope that you find one that will hit it just right like those fantasy studs in your Johanna Lindseys, Zane, Lora Leigh et al. In a nutshell, the addiction of cock is undeniable.
If you're as repressed as me, you're probably suffering from that guilt of wanting to be a good christian (moslem, buddhist etc, insert as applicable (pun definitely intended)) the Christ-Cock dichotomy is not lost on me at all. Did I mention that I'm a Nigerian girl? Yep, I am. I'm not in diaspora either. That ended 2 yrs ago so I live and work in Nigeria.That certainly adds to the confusing mix. Somewhere inside my sophisticated, twentysomething self, I still believe that sex is a bad and dirty thing that only bad and dirty girls do who will not get married because they are bad and dirty. Probably true but I can't deny my sexual nature. Denial of same is akin to denial that I love bags (which I do to the point of addiction by the way)
The point I'm making is that I struggle with my Christianity and my sexuality so badly. I've been known to impose sexual hiatus(es???) on myself. The last one lasted 5 years. I know....no wonder I'm so vulgar and horny. I already admitted I was repressed! Duh!! I've listened to preachings that tell me what I need to know...sex is bad and other wonderful things along that line. Kudos to Abidemi Sanusi, author of Kemi's Journal and Zach's Story. Two very special books that approach the topic of sex and christianity from a totally different angle. Whilst she's by no means gloryfying pre-marital sex, she admits that there's always room for error because as human beings, the simple truth is WE HAVE THESE FEELINGS. As a christian, I ask for grace. But I'm through with denying my sexual nature. It is the first step in becoming a lot of things eg, becoming unrepressed!
I think there's a lot of deception and crime centered around the topic of religion and repression. My best friend told me of a church going ex who was so active in church and who was the epitome of christlike living who she was sure all the "sisters" in church made a focal point for their husband prayers who it turned out wanted to "tap that" "test run the merchandise before purchase".....ok.....sleep with her before marriage. So he wasn't as holy as he presented. The worse was that he was soooooo SHIT at sex, she couldn't believe her misfortune. See, if he had openly had practice instead of parading himself as this thing that he's not, he may have improved with time. Sex on the sly that leaves no room for constructive criticism: definitely not good at all. I've also heard stories of Deacons, Pastors etc sticking it to small children in the church. It is all a part of the repression/ frustration.
Final thots: I still don't know where I stand. I'm here proclaiming that I am forthwith unburdened of my repression, but I may wake up tomorrow rocking away with the fear of fire and brimstones and declare the earlier position revoked. But for today. I like sex, I like cock, I like the feeling of a man between my thighs. In short from the first sigh to the last moan and everything inbetween, I adore sex but I also love God. I love the way he makes me feel, I like that he's my father and my friend. So, I'm very happy to sit on the proverbial fence and not feel too bad about myself. So, in the immortal words of Jerry Springer; take care of yourselves and each other